


dont get that sinking feeling

by aqakita



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Gen, Sort of anyway, tw alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 06:12:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14611278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqakita/pseuds/aqakita
Summary: Tatianna and Roxxxy meet at a house party and Tati stays the night.





	dont get that sinking feeling

The bass that thumped through the house was dizzying. Tatianna was a fair few drinks into the night, and each step was feeling like she was like a newborn fawn. Her head was spinning, but on the whole, she felt pretty good. Stumbling into the sitting room, she clocked Raven on the couch, leaning forward, kept upright by the knuckles under her chin. She was talking loudly with someone Tatianna didn’t know, and despite this being Raven’s house, she found herself steering clear of the host.

That was how she found herself backing out of the room, nearly losing her legs from under her, to be caught in time by a strong arm around her waist. Startled, she made her best attempt to turn around, but the fast motion left her reeling. With a hard blink, tensing her fists to reduce the rush of blood to her head, she stared up at a very perplexed face.  
“Are you okay?” Judging by her tone, she was either good at holding her liquor, or still pretty sober. She laughed a little in response to the nod Tatianna answered with. Relenting her grip, she mused, “Just be careful where you step. You don’t want to damage that pretty face.”

As she walked away, Tatianna managed a slightly uncertain ‘thank you’, before staggering off in the other direction. If she was going to see this night out past midnight, she would have to slow down a little. But it was hard, being a woman of conflict, to not find herself getting riled up, and to ignore the impulse to have another drink to steady her nerves. It was nearing eleven, and she came here at eight. Since then, she’d gotten into quite a heated scrap with Jujubee, which was only cut off by someone else calling the smaller woman over.

Things were starting to feel a little bad now, and she settled on getting some water to level things out. Sitting in the kitchen, sipping the bland beverage, she ended up in a brief conversation with Alaska, who was, for lack of a better description, absolutely hammered. Suddenly, she didn’t feel as bad about how much she’d been drinking, and even just seeing the blonde reclined against the kitchen cupboards with a half finished drink clutched in her hand made her feel physically better.

After a while of meaningless, slightly non-directional conversation, the brunette stood to leave, ready to go back to attempting to mingle. That was when two other girls came into the room. One of them was a total stranger, face enhanced by several surgeries, who she’d seen a picture of recently. The other, however, was familiar. Alaska made some kind of weird, joyous noise, gesturing loosely at the two women that came over to her. The plastic one sat down on the ground, taking a swig of the blonde’s drink, and the other leaned herself back against the kitchen counter, smirking slightly at Tatianna.

“These are my friends,” Alaska slurred, and pressing a hand on her floor buddy’s knee, she introduced, “This is Detox. She’s 98% silicone.” Now, she slapped a hand against the skin of the standing woman’s leg, grinning as she flinched, “And this is Roxxxy. She’s sweet unless she feels threatened by you.”  
Evidently displeased by her introduction, visible in her creased brow, Roxxxy turned her attention away from the pair on the floor, focusing instead on the woman in the chair.  
“Glad you found your feet.” She teased.  
“Thank you.” Shaking her head a little, taking another sip of the water, she followed, “I’m Tatianna, I don’t have a tagline.”  
Something about the way she laughed in response made Tatianna blush, though she was quite eager to dismiss that as a side effect of the drink.

Their exchange was only brief, and when Detox began to really lead the conversations, largely encouraging the wasted Alaska to say the most unreasonable things possible, Tatianna dismissed herself, heading back to the living room with a little more integrity to her step. As she sauntered past Roxxxy, she felt a gaze eyeing her up and down, and for the millisecond that they made eye contact, it felt like her skin was set aflame. Then she did something that she didn’t expect herself to do - she winked, and walked straight out. In the corner of her eye, she seen the confused head tilt, and the flustered face left in her wake.

Back in the living room, she was relieved to see that Raven was gone. No doubt she would’ve been filled in about the argument with Jujubee, and given that they were immensely close, she would have something to say about it. Tatianna would retort, of course, that she was sticking up for herself after a catty comment about her outfit. Raven would, of course, disregard that, and tear into her anyway. She found herself wandering towards the coats, where she spotted Morgan and Chad, who seemed like they were about to leave.

Wanting to say goodbye, Morgan being one of the few people she considered herself close with, she went over. She’d had the odd conversation with Chad, but they didn’t see much of each other without the Scot with them. When they left, both gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. It was nearing midnight now, and she was getting quite bored. Grabbing a can of cider from the cooler placed unceremoniously on the coffee table, she cracked it open, slumping on the couch by the coats. Maybe she would head off soon, but the idea of walking the 30 minutes back to her own place felt daunting. She’d not brought enough for a cab, like an idiot.

Sipping her drink, Tatianna found herself trying to ignore the other people in the room. They were either strangers, or people she didn’t know well enough to want to speak to. That was, until, someone walked through to the living room, who she could hear saying their goodbyes to some friends. Roxxxy wandered towards the coat pile, or rather, the woman next to them. Leaning over to grab her jacket, she tossed it over her shoulders, before sitting down beside her.

“You going now?”  
“I was about to, yeah. Alaska’s… a mess. I don’t want to be here for that.” A slightly nervous laugh left her, “What about you?”  
“I was about to go but…” The hesitation was followed by a weird, hopeful confidence, “I don’t want to walk all the way back to mine.”  
Roxxxy raised a brow, before offering, “I live like 5 minutes away. You can come back to mine if you want.”  
“Sure. I’d say let me get my coat but… I don’t have one to get.”

Ditching her cider on the table, Tatianna took from the couch, ushering to be followed. Roxxxy, quite compliantly, stood and followed after, and only when they got outside did she attempt to take any form of lead. Typical of the early spring, it was chucking it down, the sound of rain almost deafeningly loud on the car roofs and pavements. Glancing to the shivering Tatianna, wearing a cocktail dress and nothing more, she shrugged off her coat, and set it over her slim shoulders, pulling the hood over her head.  
“Are you sure?”  
“We’re going to my house, if I get soaked, I get changed.”

Though the walk back was short, it felt lengthened by the onslaught of rain that slammed down onto them. The way the droplets fell so fast blurred the horizon, and Tatianna found herself taking an abrupt bad turn, as the dizziness hit and it felt like the floor was shaking. When she almost fell, Roxxxy’s arm caught her for the second time that night, steadying her. Leaning her weight into the warmth of her body, she was breathing hard, the disorientation leaving her feeling a little helpless. With her spare hand, Roxxxy tugged the coat tighter around her shoulders, attempting not to panic.

By the time Tatianna was feeling okay enough to walk again, the coat about her shoulders was thoroughly dampened, and Roxxxy’s hair which had so much volume in the house was now slicked down and slightly scruffy, dripping at the tips. If they were going back to hers to fuck, it seemed like that plan was going more and more out the window. Regardless of that, they carried on walking, the older of the pair occasionally stopping to make sure the other was okay.

When they got inside, it was an immense relief. As Tatianna stumbled through to the living room, kicking off her heels by the door on the way, the homeowner called, “I’m locking the door, don’t freak out,” a paranoid coverage incase the woman thought she was trapping her here.  
In the living room, Tatianna hesitated briefly on where to put the jacket, before handing it awkwardly over to Roxxxy, who did the same thing, before chucking it onto the armchair. She retrieved a glass of water for the guest, and said, “I’m going to change and dry off. I’ll bring you a shirt or something more comfortable than that,” She gestured to the dress, “If you take a bad turn again, shout me. If you can’t do that, make some kind of loud noise, I’ll come down.”

With a nod, she watched as the woman left the room, and followed her up the stairs with her gaze until she was out of sight. Abandoned in a strangers living room wasn’t the way she expected this night going, but she had to admit - the stranger was surprisingly hospitable. She supposed it was their shared friendship with Alaska, the mutuality an open invitation to trust. Taking a sip of her drink, she realized that though she’d come home with Roxxxy with the hopes of getting laid, the chances of that happening now were slim to none. The mood had gone when she thought she’d pass out.

And that’s the feeling that kept coming and going. Hot flushes, then a sudden cold feeling. While she mused on it, she heard the thump of feet coming down the stairs, and reaching over the back of the couch, Roxxxy set an oversized shirt on the cushion beside her, and a pair of knee socks, “You should get changed while I’m upstairs.”  
With that, she was gone again, and in the quiet of the house, the sound of the hairdryer from the bedroom filled the air. Tatianna settled on changing in here now, while she still felt alive, and once donning the borrowed clothes, she left the rain soaked cocktail dress on the armchair, with the coat.

The water was half finished, and sat now on the soft carpet, she tugged the sky blue fabric of the shirt down slightly. It just about covered her up, and she couldn’t make up her mind as to whether the socks made her feel more or less exposed. Things were feeling a little better, her head was a slight clearer and when she leaned toward the coffee table, she didn’t feel like it was moving away from her. As the glass clinked sharply against the matching material of the table, she winced, before settling back against the leather of the couch. Just as she questioned to herself how long she would be, the ambiance of the hairdryer cut out, and feet walking down the stairs replaced it.

Roxxxy had changed too, sporting a nightdress that barely scraped her knee. Noticing that the girl was sat on the floor, she joined her, smiling a little. The room was cold, and as soon as the warmth of a body beside her hit the exposed skin of her lower arm, Tatianna shifted up closer, leaning into her. Roxxxy draped an arm over her shoulders, pulling her close. In a sense, she was a little disappointed with the night, having had the same expectations for it. But, she wasn’t a woman to force things, and she didn’t want to be picking up the pieces (or worse) if the alcohol left Tatianna reeling again.

It did suddenly occur to the sobering woman that the other was not drunk. She hadn’t seen her drinking at the party, and noticed she was clear headed. Then again, she only seen her for a short time while they were there, she didn’t know what she’d had. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t ask.  
“Are you sober?”  
“Tipsy at worst. I thought I might end up having to drive Alaska home, so I only had one or two.”  
“Why did you leave her if you thought that?” Tatianna was, reasonably, a little perplexed.  
She looked like she was thinking, before settling on, “I shouldn’t have to be in charge of her.”  
“So why not drink more?”  
“I didn’t feel like drinking?” Roxxxy bristled now, “You know, for someone who’s house this isn’t, you’re asking a lot of questions.”

There was a brief silence, and Tatianna leaned forward to get the water, sipping it again as she settled back against the stockier woman. Sure, she may have just made things a little uncomfortable in the conversation, but she wasn’t moving away from the physical comfort that was there. Plus, she noticed she was still being held. Suddenly, it clicked.  
“You left so you could bring me home.”  
“Well, you’re here, whether or not I planned it.” She turned to her with a light smirk, wanting to be smug but coming off a little bashful.  
“Sorry that… you know. Nothing’s happened,” Then, she followed, “There’s still time though.”  
Shrugging, she elected to retain the optimism in that. Things could pick up.

Sitting on the ground was comfortable for a short time, but soon enough, it was painful, and at that point, Roxxxy stood up, offering a hand. Tatianna grabbed it, allowed herself to be pulled up, and stumbled slightly on the carpet, aching brain not ready to go back to the latitude of standing. She was steadied by an arm, and she smiled up, head tilted, at the worried woman.  
“You reckon you can get upstairs alright?”  
“If I say no, will you carry me?” The good part of the drinking was still here; the confidence part.  
Though her face clearly showed she felt she was taking the piss, Roxxxy, the pushover it turned out she was, scooped the other girl into her arms, carrying her up. The gasp that left her mouth showed she’d not expected the comment to be taken seriously.

Despite being carried up so sweetly, she was unceremoniously dropped onto the bed, with what felt like, judging by how the fingers dug into her skin in a panicked way, a mistake. A quiet sorry followed it, and she moved away, turning the TV on low to combat the rainfall on the window, and the barking of the neighbours dog. When she moved away, Tatianna found herself resisting the urge to reach out, poorly executing it as she stretched a hand across the sheets. She longed for a sense of proximity from her, having found in their brief time of knowing each other a strange sense of safety.

Watching her, Roxxxy laughed a little, a blush on her cheeks. This was ridiculous, she thought, as she felt her heart skip a beat when she was reached for. But she felt wanted, and that was something she didn’t feel as often as she would have liked. The way the night sidetracked no longer mattered to her, because while she wouldn’t have a story to tell Alaska and Detox about fucking that cute girl senseless, she would have, for one night, an intimacy she craved so desperately. She was not a girl for one night stands, as much as she tried to fulfill that role for her friends who were. That was why she had nothing to drink tonight; she had no interest in making a mistake, and no interest in getting laid for the sake of it.

She slumped down on the bed, wrapping an arm around Tatianna’s shoulders as she snuggled up close. Her eyes focused on the ceiling, and she sighed, breathing in the muddled scent of the damp rain on her hair and the final lingering notes of a sharp, sweet perfume. But in all of that, she was acutely aware of the familiar smell of her own fabric conditioner, finding herself somewhat flustered to catch that smell on another body. Her stomach sucked in suddenly as a hand stroked down it, before curving in at her waist, holding her tightly.

“How are you feeling?”  
“…Not terrible.”  
“That’s better than terrible,” Roxxxy laughed a little, squeezing her shoulder.  
“I’m tired.” Tatianna whined.  
“Sleep then? I’m not stopping you.”  
As soon as that was said, the body beside her seemed to relax, leaning her weight into her. Just as soon as she thought the woman had fallen asleep, she heard a quiet, guilty, “Sorry we didn’t fuck.”  
Roxxxy snorted, not expecting an apology at all, let alone one so blunt, “It’s fine! You just sleep. I don’t like fucking drunk girls that much anyway.”  
“We can hook up when I’m sober.”  
“I’ll hold you to it.”

-

To say she felt like shit would be an understatement. Tatianna woke up, eyes bleary, head pounding, stomach muscles taut, and leg muscles aching. The light of the morning was blinding, even though it was only seeping through the fabric of pale purple curtains. Turning, she buried her face into the pillow. Or maybe not. This was not a pillow, and pillows didn’t grumble unhappily when you nuzzled into them. No, this was definitely a human arm. Suddenly, she was startled, and against the weight of her hangover, she pushed herself up enough that she could see who was there. It took effort to remember who it was, the haze of the night before having blocked out a lot of what happened.

Making the most of the situation, she wriggled to place her head on her chest, and an arm across her stomach, getting comfortable. She briefly reached about for the blanket, pulling it up high enough to shield her from the light. While any other time she’d woke up next to someone she would panic, the fact that they were both dressed settled her nerves. In the warm, dark comfort beneath the blankets, she worked on piecing the night before together, and managed to recall that they came back here, but she wasn’t reacting well to the alcohol, so they didn’t do anything in the end. She finally managed to remember her name though, and remembered that she was a friend of Alaska’s.

Tatianna wondered if she should even still be here. The common courtesy with one night stands was to leave before the person wakes up, to avoid the awkward conversation. However, this wasn’t a one night stand, and she felt so horrible from the night that she couldn’t bring herself to try and leave. She could have kicked herself for doing this. Like many a girl said, she thought to herself - I’m never drinking again.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when the person below stirred, grumbling and shifting beneath her. Roxxxy fluttered her eyes open, craning her neck a little to look down at the body at her side. Thanks to her avoiding the booze, she still remembered it all clearly.  
“Morning,” Her voice crackled with sleep, “How’re you holding up?”  
“…Terrible.” Tatianna rasped, “My head is killing me. No, my everything is…”  
“Poor thing.” Chuckling, she rubbed up and down her back, “Got any hangover cures that work for you?”  
In the hopes it was an offer to give her it, she answered, “A fry up’s always good.”  
“If you want to hang around, I can make you one?”  
“Please. But I don’t wanna move yet.”

When Tatianna eventually decided she was up to it, the pair made their way downstairs. As she came through, she noticed the discarded coat and dress on the armchair, and hoped that when she left, she’d remember to take her own clothes with her. Roxxxy had disappeared into the kitchen, and though it seemed like she was trying not to make too much noise, the thunk of the cupboards closing seemed as loud as thunderclaps. However, though it was a sting on the ear at first, the sizzle of the frying pans were quite soothing. Within about 15 minutes, the food was ready, and she called the other woman through.

“If you want to get yourself a drink, feel free. There’s coffee in the pot and there’s coke in the fridge.”  
Tatianna settled on the coke, hoping the sugar in the drink would help her perk up, “You know, Morgan swears by Irn Bru, but it’s not sold much around here.”  
“Oh?” She tilted her head, still sorting out her own food. She’d settled on some peanutbutter toast, not wanting the heaviness of a fried breakfast.  
“Yeah. I’ve tried it once. Did make me feel better though.”  
“You have a lot of heavy nights then?”  
“Not a lot, but a few.” She chuckled lightly, “But they’re really heavy with her. Scottish roots and all, she likes a drink.”

After breakfast, she was feeling so much better. Plus, now on a full stomach, she took a couple of painkillers, and the remainders of her headache were now manageable. Tatianna changed into the cocktail dress, and though a little crumpled and damp smelling, it still looked okay. They sat about and chatted for a little bit, but as it passed midday, it seemed like goodbyes would be imminent. Roxxxy getting a call from Detox about Alaska having her stomach pumped was the defining point of that. It was confirming that she was okay, but going to see her would be the right thing.

“Want me to drop you off on my way?”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yeah, it’s fine. It’s hardly a long drive, is it?”  
Tatianna laughed, “I like how you’re just guessing, but no, it’s not. It’s like five, ten minutes?”  
Telling her the address, they got into the car, and when they pulled up, she hesitated on getting out.  
“I had a lot of fun, it’d be nice to do it again?”  
“The party hookup, or the breakfast?”  
“…Either but I liked the breakfast more.”  
After quickly exchanging numbers, they said their goodbyes, and lingering on the doorstep, Tatianna watched her drive away with a smile, phone clutched against her chest.


End file.
